Recognizing that the ability to bounce back after disappointment can be a problem for children and teens who do not learn positive ways to deal with internal and external pressure, this approach to building resilience avoids childhood stress by teaching children that failure is a natural part of life. To organize the discussion, the ingredients for resilience are broken down into "the crucial seven Cs": competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control—and are supplemented by discussions of understanding and respecting emotions, enjoying play, learning to accept blame, delaying gratification, managing stress, and taking action instead of worrying. With this model being the gradual transfer of control from parent to child as the goal of this model, techniques are provided that teach new coping skills and reinforce existing ones at each developmental stage. Applicable to all age groups, detailed stress management plans summarize the main concepts and guide parents and children toward working effectively together.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Part 1: Resilience and Stress
Chapter 1 Why Resilience
Chapter 2 Stress and Its Effects
Chapter 3 Ingredients of Resilience: 7 Crucial Cs

Part 2: Competence and Confidence
Chapter 4 Getting Out of the Way
Chapter 5 The Value of Play
Chapter 6 Noticing, Praising, and Criticizing
Chapter 7 Thinking Clearly
Chapter 8 No More Lectures
Chapter 9 “I Get It!”
Chapter 10 Changing Behavior Step-by-step
Chapter 11 Shifting the Blame to Save Face
Chapter 12 Media Literacy.
Chapter 13 Not Being Broken
Chapter 14 Building Confidence

Part 3: Connection, Character, and Contribution
Chapter 15 Connection
Chapter 16 The Art and Importance of Listening
Chapter 17 Strengthening Family Ties
Chapter 18 Widening the Circle
Chapter 19 Some Cautions About Connection
Chapter 20 Character
Chapter 21 Contribution

Part 4: Coping
Chapter 22 Getting a Grip on Stress
Chapter 23 Taking Action
Chapter 24 Taking Care of Your Body
Chapter 25 Taking Care of Your Emotions

Part 5: Control
Chapter 26 Styles of Discipline
Chapter 27 Positive Discipline Strategies
Chapter 28 Increasing Kids’ Control
Chapter 29 Delaying Gratification and Trusting Their Decisions
Chapter 30 One Rung at a Time
Chapter 31 Not Everything Is Within Our Control

Part 6: When Resilience Is Challenged Beyond Reasonable Limits
Chapter 32 Extreme Circumstances
Chapter 33 Turning for Help

Final Thoughts

Just for Kids

A Preteen’s Personalized Guide to Managing Stress
A Teen’s Personalized Guide to Managing Stress

Resources