ISBN# 978-1937761103
Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD

Publication Date: 2014
Melissa Orlov and Nancie Kohlenberger, LMFT

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sku# 0910

Paperback, 240pp

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About the Author

Melissa Orlov is the author of the award-winning book,The ADHD Effect on Marriage, and speaks internationally on how adult ADHD impacts relationships. She writes for and provides counseling, seminars, and educational resources for both couples and therapists. She has been interviewed by The New York Times, CNN, Today, U.S. News and World Report, The APA Monitor, and many others. Ms. Orlov is a cum laude graduate of Harvard College. She can be reached at

Nancie Kohlenberger, LMFT is both a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in southern California and a Marriage Consultant nationally and internationally. She has been on the faculty at the University of Santa Monica where she taught Master’s level courses in psychology, including the Marriage and Family course. She loves working with couples impacted by ADHD, and can be reached at


More and more often, adults are realizing that the reason they are struggling so much in their relationship is that they are impacted by previously undiagnosed adult ADHD. Learning how to interact around ADHD symptoms is often the difference between joy together and chronic anger and frustration.

The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD lays out the most important strategies couples can use – right now – to rebuild trust, fight less, disagree more productively, get the attention they deserve, and rebuild intimacy in their relationship. These are strategies honed over years of working specifically with couples impacted by ADHD, and demonstrated to change lives for the better. ‘Thrive’ is the go-to book for couples struggling with ADHD who want to actively work to improve their relationship. You will find out how to:

  • Diminish frustration and anger
  • Use essential communication skills to build your relationship
  • Learn to trust again
  • Revive intimacy and connection
  • Optimize ADHD treatment
  • Improve reliability

  1. Couples, Emotions, and ADHD
  2. Diagnosis, Treatment and the Two of You
  3. Tomato/Tomahto—Overcoming Communication Issues
  4. Can't You Just Lighten Up?! Anger in Your Relationship
  5. Is it Finished Yet? Navigating Chores, Tasks and Life Balance
  6. Who's in Charge of What? Rebalancing Your Relationship
  7. Warmth, Intimacy and Feelings of Love

“A book destined to save marriages in trouble and awaken those in repose...”- Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., Founder, The Hallowell Centers, co-author of Driven to Distraction

“Hands down the best book for couples dealing with ADHD. No other book comes even close to provide a balance of the positives, negatives and all that is between.” – - Bryan Hutchinson, author, 7 Crucial Tips for Parents and Teachers of Children with ADHD

“A wonderful guide to the unique ways that ADHD can impact relationships. Partners will learn that they are not alone in their struggles, and what it takes to adapt and enjoy life with each other to the fullest…a frank, practical and bravely personal guide that will help many.” - Craig Surman, M.D., Assistant Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School and co-author, FAST MINDS: How to Thrive if You Have ADHD (or think you might)

“Compassionate, concise, and insightful, The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD is filled with ‘a-ha’ moments, and is a must-read for couples and mental health professionals alike.” - Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, Founder of

“Orlov and Kohlenberger provide extremely helpful insights, practical advice and sage wisdom for couples in which one or both partners have ADHD...” - Mary Solanto, Ph.D., Associate Professor, Director, ADHD Center, Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. Author, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Adult ADHD: Targeting Executive Dysfunction

“…offers hope when all seems lost with a practical roadmap to relationship recovery that is truly sustainable and offers a real-life happy ending.” - Zoe Kessler, author, ADHD According to Zoe – The Real Deal on Relationships, Finding your Focus and Finding Your Keys

“Practical, accessible, compassionate, and a pleasure to read…a must-have book for any couple living with the challenges and rewards of ADHD…The perfect life companion for couples and coaches who deal with ADHD on a daily basis.” - Nancy Ratey, Ed.M., MCC, BCC. Author, The Disorganized Mind

“…offers invaluable, practical tips and techniques for dealing with the issues of ADHD in relationships. This is a guidebook to a happier, healthier relationship…” -Harold Meyer, Coach & Executive Director, The A.D.D. Resource Center

“Through personal experience, expert knowledge, and kind-hearted compassion, the authors provide ADHD-impacted couples with a thorough understanding of why they are experiencing certain challenges in their relationship, and what they can do to overcome these challenges…” - Jennifer Koretsky, SCAC, author, Odd One Out: The Maverick’s Guide to Adult ADHD