Summary
Give teenagers a chance to say what’s on their minds, and you might be surprised by what you hear. That’s exactly what Don Meyer did when he invited together a group of 80 teenagers, from all over the United States and abroad, to talk about what it’s like to have a brother or sister with special needs. Their unedited words are found in THE SIBLING SLAM BOOK, a brutally honest, non-PC look at the lives, experiences, and opinions of siblings without disabilities.
Formatted like the slam books passed around in many junior high and high schools, this one poses a series of 50 personal questions along the lines of:
- “What should we know about you?”
- “What do you tell your friends about your sib’s disability?”
- “What’s the weirdest question you have ever been asked about your sib?”
- “If you could change one thing about your sib (or your sib’s disability) what would it be?”
- “What annoys you most about how people treat your sib?”
THE SIBLING SLAM BOOK doesn’t “slam” in the traditional sense of the word. The tone and point-of-view of the answers are all over the map. Some answers are assuredly positive, a few are strikingly negative, but most reflect the complex and conflicted mix of emotions that come with the territory. Whether they read it cover to cover or sample it at random, teenagers will surely find common ground among these pages and reassurance that they are not alone. It is a book that parents, friends, and counselors can feel confident recommending to any teenager with a brother or sister with a disability.
Reviews
"*This multifaceted vehicle for eliciting some unique and many universal emotions is designed specifically for siblings of special-needs children. An adolescent mainstay, the slam book is the chosen venue for encouraging the venting of opinions, hopes, fears, frustrations, and triumphs. Comments by 81 young people display the recurring theme of optimism, complicated by hard work, dedication, resentment, and fierce protection, all as by-products of love. Some questions serve as icebreakers, such as 'What should we know about you?' and 'What should we know about your sib?' while thought-provoking chapters include 'What life lesson have you learned from being a sib?' and 'What are some advantages--good parts--of having a sibling with a disability?' Typical slam-book questions such as 'Has your sib ever embarrassed you?' are interspersed with chapters like 'Ever feel invisible?' Answers from the large sample group supply ample material so that each reader is sure to relate to some of the thoughtful or heartfelt responses. Highly recommended for all middle, high school, and public libraries."
-School Library Journal, June 1, 2005 (*starred review)
"This is a book absolutely bursting with truth. Three cheers for the strong young people who share their feelings in these pages -- and for Don Meyer, a great champion of brothers and sisters everywhere. If only I'd known you all when I was younger!"
--Rachel Simon, sister of a woman with developmental disabilities, and author of RIDING THE BUS WITH MY SISTER
"Sibling relationships, especially during the teenage years, can often be emotionally charged, but what happens when one sibling is a brother or sister with special needs? At times, sibs of special needs individuals feel left out and isolated with no one who understands their situation...until Don Meyer came along, that is. In The Sibling Slam Book: What It's Really Like to Have a Brother or Sister with Special Needs, Meyer, Director of the Sibling Support Project of the ARC, presents the thoughts of eighty such teens as they answer over fifty questions about life with a special needs sibling. The slam book format allows for realistic, honest, and age-appropriate answers. This is one of the best and most user-friendly books Disability Resources has come across in the growing field of 'sib books'."
--Disability Resources Online
"Welcome to the real world of siblinghood, described in all of its color, detail, and amazing emotional range by the experts--the sibs. These young writers stake out their territory and claim it with big honesty, a smashing sense of humor, and quiet but unstoppable courage. If you have preconceptions about people with disabilities or their siblings, leave them at the door, and get ready for a great read."
--Paul and Judy Karasik, authors of THE RIDE TOGETHER: A BROTHER AND SISTER’S MEMOIR OF AUTISM IN THE FAMILY
"THE SIBLING SLAM BOOK asks the kind of questions that sibs like us wonder about. Read it and get an insider’s view on the joys, trials, and tribulations felt by sibs everywhere. No single story explains what it’s like to have a disability or the effect it has on other kids in the family. Siblings cannot be categorized as you can see from the diverse opinions found in this book! Every sib will find a little of themselves on these pages."
--Christina and David Dudish, college-age siblings who have a sister with autism
